It was a Christmas horror story: Three days before the big day and I learn that the gift I had ordered for my lovely daughter and her fiancĂ© won’t be available until mid-January.
My darling girl, Rebecca Blythe Hodges, lives in California. Her future husband is Tobe Hooper, the esteemed director and creator of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and one of the smartest, sweetest guys I know.
So, who do I trust to deliver nice gifts sent from us in Delaware to Tinsel Town, more than 3,000 miles away?
I look to the Midwest, where everyone is so gosh-darn nice and folks abide by their promises. I am counting on Nebraska, specifically on Omaha Steaks, which has maintained a longtime relationship with my basement freezer.
On several occasions, I have spoken with real, live customer service reps who, indeed, live and work in Nebraska. I like them. I trust them. I believe them when they say their grandkids love the pork chops and the frankfurters are great with sauerkraut.
A selection from Omaha Steaks strikes me as the perfect present. What better gift to ship to a master of horror and a beautiful maiden than a cooler full of red meat?
So I pick a package I feel confident they will enjoy. Filet mignon, naturally. Sirloin steaks. Burgers. Pork chops, hot dogs, potatoes au gratin. And for a little variety, filet of sole stuffed with crab and scallops.
Then a little box pops up on the computer screen. Would I like to add four more sirloin steaks to the cooler? There’s no additional shipping charge. And, hey, it’s the holidays, so Omaha Steaks is offering a great deal. They will even toss in a set of steak knives.
I click YES.
Another box pops up. How about a couple of one-pound bags of sirloin tips?
YES again. Bring on the longhorns. The moo the merrier.
On Dec. 23, Rebecca calls to thank us for the gift. It has arrived on the doorstep, impeccably packaged and in plenty of time to ring in Christmas. She and Tobe are delighted with their special treats.
A holiday horror story has a happy ending, thanks to the nice folks from the Cornhusker State.