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Thank you. Thank you very much.

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I’m reflecting on February, the Month of Gratitude, my 29-day commitment to sending a formal thank you note to someone who has enhanced my life. Shown me kindness. Done me a good turn. Valued me. Given me encouragement–or a well-intentioned kick in the butt.

Researchers conclude that expressing gratitude is good for us. I agree. The Month of Gratitude validated that I have much to be thankful for; then again, I already knew that.

Unknown-1I sent notes I would have posted any way: thanks for inviting me to dinner, to your party, to the theater. I’m grateful to a longtime editor and friend, who sent me a significant piece of business. (His grizzled response: He doesn’t do favors. He knew I would make him look good. Thanks for that, too.)

I’ve been practicing intentional gratitude since September 2008, starting each day with an expression of thanks. But it’s been a personal and private pursuit, like saying my prayers. The Month of Gratitude is focused outward, centered on the people to whom I am grateful.

imagesPart of my grand plan was to buy a fountain pen and order classy stationery with a crisp, fine hand. I accomplished neither, plowing through the month putting ballpoint pen to an assortment of cheap notecards rolling around in my desk. I will do better in future.

Some thank yous are deeply personal: to two women friends who have shown exceptional  compassion in the grief-drenched year and a half since my husband died; to the pal who convinced me to host two medical students for a month because he worried I might be lonely; to the friend I can truly and safely confide in (she is the only person who knows both one juicy secret and my net worth.)

Thanks to my cherished friend and piano teacher, who reminds me of the transformative power of music–and that the bright, eager 5-year-old inside me is alive and kicking. Thanks to a new friend, the funniest woman I’ve met in 10 years, who showed me the therapeutic value of dragging myself away from my desk for a long, wine-soaked lunch.

I’m thankful to the sweet handyman who has magically made my property manageable, while brightening my day with his sunny countenance. Ditto to my husband’s best friend, who volunteered to complete the website Dale did not get to finish–and circled back to me more times than I can count when I simply could not get my act together. Because that is what Dale would have done for his friend’s wife.

There’s so much to be grateful for, isn’t there? February has melted into the past. But I will keep writing thank you notes.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

February: The gratitude month

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Midway through Veganuary, my month without refined sugar, alcohol or meat of any kind, people started asking me a thought-provoking question: What are you going to do in February?

Card-Hard-The-Subtle-Art-of-Writing-a-Thank-You-Note-MainPhotoTruth to tell, I looked at the January experiment as a one-and-done proposition.

But the reality is that going public with my personal initiative created an expectation that the next month would bring a new challenge. Veganuary had become part of my schtick. Traffic on my blog tripled whenever I updated my progress.

A friend suggested running a mile every day, the pledge for 2016 espoused by Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. Or how about committing to 10,000 steps a day?

I like both those ideas. But I ultimately decided to take the advice of my friend and neighbor Anne. Every day in February, I will write a thank you note expressing my gratitude to an individual who has made a difference in my life.

No email, no texting. It has to be on paper. And it must be written in my own hand. As a stationery nerd, I see the value in this. And a fountain pen. I am all in.

I’ve been practicing mindful gratitude since 2008, starting each day with three words: “Thank you, Lord.” In the past year, I’ve established a new habit, adding three specific things I am grateful for that day.

This regimen was inspired by my friend Susie, who began her trio of thanks when she was able to retire early, thanks to a sweet package from her former employer.

Coming up with three timely items for the gratitude list is harder than it seems. On most days, Susie says she checks one off with a standard thank you: “I am so glad I am not married to Chuck any more.”

Because I overthink, my list often takes longer than it should. Are my thoughts germane, reflecting the past 24 hours? Sure, no one can hear me; but am I speaking plainly? And did I miss anything?

During Veganuary, a standard refrain was expressing thanks for staying on course.

Today, the first day I am free to indulge in the full spectrum of food and drink, the editor of a glossy wines and spirits magazine contacts me. Can I take on an assignment on tequila cocktails?

Yes, I can.

A coincidence? We know better.

And so I begin February. Even with leap year, I already am wishing there were more than 29 days in the month. Because there are so many people to thank.

I have delivered my first handwritten note, to my neighbor Anne. Thanks for a great idea!